If It's Not a Hell Yeah…It’s a No!

When I was in sixth grade my mom took me to see Disney’s The Little Mermaid in the movie theatre. Problematic issues aside, as a kid at that time, I loved it. I memorized the whole movie and yes, I was one of those kids where that movie influenced my wanting to become a marine biologist. During the next six years, from seventh grade through high-school, I spent my summers volunteering at my local aquarium. I learned all about Southern California marine life, but I also learned a very important skill I never knew I had: The ability to talk to different groups of people. I learned how to connect with kids from preschool age to young adults in high-school, to teachers, parents, and even the bus drivers who joined us on the aquarium tours. It was fun, it was challenging, and without even knowing it, I was developing skills I’d use to this day.

Going into college I was preparing myself for a rough ride because I have ADHD, making school very challenging for me. A Marine Biology degree is considered pre-med which means calculus, physics, and the harder chemistry courses that those working toward an English degree don’t have to take. I started at a community college and it took me nearly five years to get out. I transferred to The University of Hawaii—the perfect school for a Marine Biology degree. I got a job at the Waikiki Aquarium where I gave tours and led educational talks. It was a lot of fun, but something was nagging at my soul. Something didn’t feel right and I didn’t understand it because this is what I’d always wanted to do.

I had a talk with my best friend. I already had a great job working as a longshoreman, and I worked so hard toward a Marine Biology degree, so why did I feel like I was making the wrong decision? ADHD people can sometimes act impulsively, and I didn’t want to make a life-changing decision only to find out I was being impulsive because organic chemistry was kicking my ass! My friend knew I loved to write funny stories as a hobby, and we talked about writing. Writing takes us to other worlds. For me, writing is so dynamic and always changing. As a writer I can do anything I want, and if I don’t like it…that’s a solid me problem. So I made the hard decision to switch gears and focus on my creative writing, and get an English degree.

Next was to tell mom and dad. They were very supportive and my mom told me not to be discouraged or feel like I’d wasted time and money. She said that in my life I’d use all the things I’d learned trying to get that Marine Biology degree—and she was right.

Now I write stories with oceanic characters. I was able to combine everything that’s happened in my life into the writing: The longshoreman became pirates, the animals I loved as a kid became Laura’s friends when she was stranded on Dicore island at the age of twelve (the age I started volunteering at the Cabrillo Marine Aquarium). Every skill, every love, every pain and struggle I ever had goes into my writing, and it feels aligned and complete. So the lesson here…if there is a lesson: Don’t give up on what feels aligned and right for you. Even if you think you’re working toward something you love, but then you get that dull, gnawing feeling inside that what you’re working towards is not quite right. Make the switch because the best lesson I learned from my best friend: If what you’re considering doesn’t feel like a hell yeah! It’s a hell no.